OLYMPIAN ANGUS

Angus took up bowling indoors,

'Cos he didn't like the rain outdoors.

At first he thought it a bit of fun,

But Angus had only just begun.

He found that he was rather good

At positioning the wayward wood.

He could always find the Jack,

And now young Angus can't look back.

Playing for Wales, he went to Leicester;

Found the singles quite a tester

Still he took the bronze for third,

But it wasn't the medal he preferred

He stepped up for doubles, and played it bold,

And Angus came home to Wales with GOLD!

Bato

TOMMY ATKINS

To the tune of Bobby Shaftoe:

Tommy Atkins went to war
And soon his feet were bloody sore
All 'cos of the boots he wore
Footsore Tommy Atkins

They gave him clothes that didn't fit
And told him "buy some better kit"
They really treated him like shit
Poor old Tommy Atkins

He didn't have a bullet proof vest
Because his needs were not assessed
Tommy got shot in the chest
Heroic Tommy Atkins

The bullet wound turned real smelly
Poison spread down to his belly
Tommy's insides turned to jelly.
Poor sick Tommy Atkins

They sent Tom to good old blighty
Telling him (though quite politely)
You're no longer quite so sprightly
Go home Tommy Atkins

Tommy applied for compensation
THEY turned down his application
Saying "you'll have to prove causation
Prove it Tommy Atkins

Since his compo's been refused
Tommy feels he's been abused
Tommy has now turned to booze
Drunken Tommy Atkins

Tommy cannot get a job
People think he's just a slob
But of his good name he's been robbed
Jobless Tommy Atkins

Tommy Atkins lost his house
And Tommy Atkins lost his spouse
And now he's treated like a louse
Homeless Tommy Atkins

There's a covenant alleged
A promise and a solemn pledge
So why's he living in a hedge
They lied to Tommy Atkins
Bato